As you can imagine, I’m always being approached by such and such companies to promote their wares, so here follows a brief episode of a couple of items of feline orientated tat that has been thrown at me to review.


As you can see, above, I am trying to figure out how to open some kind of mechanical Butler contraption called a PetSafe Feeder. My carer left this out for me when I sent her off to Paris to buy me some macarons, rendering me bereft of staff for the day. Readers, this thing is utterly useless. It’s supposed to open at certain times of the day and feed me but I sat on it for ages waiting to be fed, to no avail. It is either broken, or lazy.


Now, this is more like it. A lovely Cherrywood dining table which means I can eat at face level instead of having to bend down, which is splendid, because bending down to reach food is such a bore. An added bonus is that eating at this height is scientifically proven to enhance the digestive system, or some such nonsense. If I had a polydactyl thumb it would definitely be pointed upwards for this one.

If you would like to add your luxury product to my long waiting list for review please address all PR inquiries to my carer. Toodle-oo.